When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
