As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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