I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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