The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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