is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
