Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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