party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
