So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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