ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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