You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
