The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
