He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think your dad took our porno
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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