I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
false alarm, still single
Randomize
