Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
