omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
