My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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