I hope mine doesn't look like that
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
