R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ugly people sure do ruin things
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize