im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
