Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
