You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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