That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
