How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize