oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
