Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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