Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
