I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
