We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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