my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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