I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
