Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
