Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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