i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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