fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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