FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
