I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize