Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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