Me too!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
