Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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