I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
