We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
