I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
