i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize