smell my finger.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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