I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
