I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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