A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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