T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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