I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
