Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
