did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
false alarm, still single
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
