Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
