So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I want her autograph on my taint
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
