ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
