and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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