found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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