I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
