I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
