bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
