I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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