I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
