garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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