just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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